


Recovery: Online

by ConfessionForAnotherTime



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Abuse, Character Death, Choking, Dubcon Kissing, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gaslighting, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mental Instability, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Power Play, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, mentioned South/CT, selfcest kinda, uneasiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 05:56:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3680511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfessionForAnotherTime/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agent Washington is set for implantation of the Epsilon AI and he's still hesitant about the entire thing.<br/>---<br/>Tags are for entire work and not all will show up in the first part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tomorrow

Tomorrow.

Implantation was tomorrow and there was so much he didn’t know about what would happen. Would it hurt? Would anyone help him out? The other freelancers who had been implanted, North, York, Carolina, Maine, Texas, all seemed fine after they came out of Recovery. They all had walked out the same day, head held high like they had just completed some great feat. He knew it really had to do with being selected to be one of the many who would have an AI unit implanted into them and the honor that came with being trusted with this type of equipment. He had waited quite a while so far, first thinking that he would never get a chance to test one of them out with his portable EMP unit. The mini-EMP only worked in short bursts, but he had been assured that he would be able to use it for longer, more efficiently once he had an AI in his possession to help him unlock all of the capabilities of his equipment.

“I know you go in tomorrow, but do you ever think that they push us back because they just fucking hate us?” South sneered as she took a pull off of her beer that she had snuck out of the mess hall. She didn’t look like half the woman that she normally did inside her armor. Her arms were trim, but firmly muscled. They rippled as she leaned back, her abs showing more than he had seen in a long time. _Must have just gotten out of training_. She was covered with a thin sheen of sweat.

“I don’t think they hate us, South. They have some kind of plan for us.” Wash assured her, resting his gloved hand on her shoulder, taking it off when she stared at him for even touching her.

“Now you’re making them sound like some kind of God. Don’t let him hear you say that. Fuckhead doesn’t need more of an ego.” She blew her bangs out of her face, rolling her eyes and taking in another large mouthful of the bitter liquid.

“I’m not trying to make him sound like a god, but I’m serious. There has to be some sort of plan in all of this, you know?” Wash stared out the window of the observation deck. The stars looked even further away than they did most nights. He held his hand out to South, taking the bottle when she handed it over and drinking a large mouthful. He made a face of disgust after he swallowed and handed it back to her. “How can you drink that stuff?”

“Well, usually, I put the bottle to my lips and let the beer flow into my mouth. After that, I swallow.” She gave him a cheeky grin before taking another drink, finishing off the bottle with several swallows. She sprawled out on the cold metal floor behind her, hands under her head.

“Yes yes, and I should know plenty about swallowing. Very funny, South.” Wash rolled his eyes as she laid back, catching the smirk on her face. “I really wish you wouldn’t even suggest that. Or think about suggesting that. Or make me say it because I know you would. We’re friends. That’s it.”

“Riiiiight sure,” she drew out, bringing her legs up to bend at the knee. “And Connie and I are just super great gal pals. Wash, open your eyes and see it. Trust me. Your life will get a hell of a lot easier when you do. You wouldn’t ask him to sleep with you if you didn’t care about him.”

“As a friend.” He laid down next to her. “He wouldn’t be into it anyway. He’s a big teddy bear, sure, but it would be all one-sided. Just trust me on this, okay?”

“Pretty sure if you just asked, he would be completely down for anything you wanted. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“Yeah. So have I. It usually is with him shaking his head after I do something stupid. South, stop putting ideas into my head of so--” He stopped when she turned over, laying on her side next to him, putting a finger over his lips. Her body was dwarfed by his, the armor he was still wearing making her look just as small as she did when they were both out of armor.

“Wash, trust me. I have a way of sensing this kind of thing. He’s also not the kind of guy to just cuddle with anyone.” She took her finger away, rolling to lay on her back again.

“You think so?”

“I haven’t run into him sneaking into anyone else’s room in the middle of the night.”

“Why are you out in the middle of the night?”

“Don’t worry about it Wash.”

\---

Tomorrow. He was set for implantation tomorrow. York spoke of implantation casually, like he did everything, adjusting quickly to the extra voice in his head. It was observed that his irritation levels had risen in the time since his implantation, making him less fun to around as well as meaner in a lot of regards. Wash had noticed more than the playful ribbing since his implantation, his jokes bordering on cruel. Carolina would join in from time to time and despite his protests, he still would continue. Wash avoided him for the most part, trying to only be around York when there was an audience. He was a co-worker at this point. He pushed it too far so much of the time that Wash had little choice but to see him as just someone he worked with. A friend wouldn’t be that mean. Between all the jabs and jokes, Wash found himself being less and less willing to be around York. He may have experience, but the rest was too much.

He missed the argument with Carolina. He heard later that she got it in her head that she needed an AI again after giving up hers from before, letting Maine have the bridge he needed to communicate with everyone by use of the AI. Everyone but him. He hadn’t told anyone he could understand the mountain of a man, learning from body language and so many hours spent in his company. The man hardly spoke before his accident. At least now he had an excuse. Wash slid over to Maine.

“How are you doing there, buddy?” Away from the prying eyes, Wash laid his hand on Maine’s forearm, covering his gauntlet. He had seen so little of him in the past few weeks, the muted freelancer spending more time in Recovery than anywhere else. Surgery had done little to fix the damage to his throat, and the headaches didn’t help things either.

He shrugged, turning away from Wash. This surgery wasn’t a success. Sigma was his means of communication now. He pulled from Wash’s grasp, finding his presence unneeded right now.

“You sure you’re okay? You may say so, as much as you can, but you’ve been off.” Wash tried to get him look at him, but he refused. He growled as he walked away, out of Recovery.

“I know you’re concerned, but I’ll be okay. You went through it; I’ll find I can too. Carolina said your AI was driven. I’m curious to see what qualities mine will have.” Wash started to pull away, heading for the training room floor. “Will I see you tonight in my bunk?” Wash caught the slight of a nod, smiling to himself that at the very least, he wouldn’t be alone tonight. After tonight, he wouldn’t be alone again though. Tomorrow. It would be here soon.

\---

Wash crawled into bed, glancing at the clock. Maine was usually there by now. It was well past midnight, so really, implantation day was today. Carolina had pushed him and South back in the schedule the week before, but finally it was his turn to be able to show off just what he could do on the battle field. Maine was usually there by now.

Wash laid in bed for another hour, glaring at the bright blue shining 0100 telling him just how late it was. The other agents would give him grief over going to bed so early, yet duty called. He knew he had to be awake by 0600 for personal training and breakfast anyway. He still didn’t understand how half of them were able to stay up most of the night and still be functional the next day.

As he continued to stare up at the ceiling, he was greeted with a familiar set of footsteps quietly treading across the floor. The door clicked shut, and Wash’s blankets were pulled back, Maine sliding in next to him as best as he could. Wash chuckled softly at how easily Maine could into in bed without much effort, pulling him to lay on top of the larger man. Nights like this had him feeling especially safe considering what lay ahead of him.

“Maine, did it hurt getting Sigma in?” Wash laid his hand on Maine’s chest, curled up on top of him as he pulled the blanket up. He didn’t really need it with how warm Maine’s body was under him but he still felt comforted by being wrapped in warmth and not just laying on top of it. Maine shook his head. “They give you analgesics before hand?” Maine nodded.

“That’s good. Is Sigma offline right now?”

Maine nodded again.

“It’s so nice that you leave him offline when you come and stay in here, buddy. We don’t need him saying anything to anyone.” Wash ran his hand over his chest, focusing on nothing. Maine threaded his fingers through Wash’s hair, making a noise at how his roots were growing out again.

“I know, I know. Where am I going to get more bleach though? I need a lot of it to be able to get everything. Besides, it’ll just grow out again.” Wash sighed, blowing the bangs out of his eyes. Maine purred under him.

“You never told me you liked it before.”

Maine nodded.

“There’s a lot of things I learn when you don’t have Sigma talk for you.”

Maine snorted.

“Don’t tell her she was right; she’ll never let me hear the end of it. She’ll also ask if--” Wash coughed and turned red, the heat transferring onto Maine’s chest. Maine snorted.

“Yeah, I know. South needs to mine her own business. I’ll tell her.” Maine kisses the top of his head. Wash’s blush deepened.

\---

When Wash woke up the next morning, Maine had already slipped out. How he managed to get out from under Wash without waking him was a question for a later time because even after so many nights he fell asleep with him, he still didn’t know why he always managed to wake up without him. Wash ran his hands through his hair, shaking it out of his face after. He made his way to the locker room, grabbing a toothbrush and towel. He just had to work himself up. Today was the day. Today was when he proved himself. Today was when he showed he was worth his weight as a team member and not just the “second worst fighter”. Today was w---

“Hey Wash! You ready?” North tossed his towel over his shoulder when he came out of his bunk across the hall, knowing the grey clad soldier would be up around now. “I know you said today was your day under the knife. Anything you’re worried about that I can help set straight?”

“I--well,” Wash started as they headed down the hallway. “I mean, I know it’s pretty routine procedure. At this point, enough of you have done it that there shouldn’t be any problems that I’ll run into. Do you have a way to calm nerves?”

“Have a banana with breakfast? The potassium should help calm your nerves and the fruit sugar should get your blood sugar up. Works for me when I’m nervous.” North laughed, holding the door open for Wash as they headed into the locker room.

“But you don’t get nervous.”

“Much like drinking milk to have strong bones and be tall, I also eat bananas to calm my nerves. Seems you need to do more of both.” North flashed him a toothy grin, ruffling his hair. “Though, we would have a hell of a time if you were bigger. Good thing we have Connecticut to get into those tight spaces.”

Wash stripped for his morning shower, scowling at North before taking in the sights next to him. _The two of them have to train together._ If South’s arms were rippled muscle, North’s had to have been chiseled from stone. The water beaded and streamed down his arms after he stepped under the spray. _No wonder. The sniper._ Wash blushed and looked away when North turned to him.

“Not surprised you would turn away. Don’t want your boyfriend getting jealous huh?” North wrapped a towel around his waist when he finished showering, tossing Wash his towel once he stepped out.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” He shook out his hair, making it stick out in every direction. He wrapped the towel around his waist.

“Right, okay.”

Wash dressed quickly, pulling on his armored body suit and strapped on the armor plating over it. He fixed his helmet to the clasps, stomach doing flip flops at this point. There wasn’t much time left before he needed to make his way to Recovery to be implanted, but the idea of heading there now and waiting didn’t appeal to him either. He shook away the nerves, forgetting North’s comments about bananas, figuring he was poking fun in the same way York did. He made his way to Recovery anyway, arriving early.

“Is it okay if we get this out of the way sooner?” he asked, trying to mask the worry in his voice. Keep cool.

“Welcome, Agent Washington.” The counselor looked him up and down. “Are you ready for your procedure?” Wash nodded, making his way to the operating table. “You will need to take your helmet off, considering the unit is implanted at the base of your neck. Don’t worry. You won’t feel a thing.”

Wash took a deep breath and nodded again, unclasping the helmet and handing it over to the counselor.

“Now, turn over, Agent Washington.” The counselor made a motion with his hands for him to lay on his stomach, earning him a confused look. Wash laid on his stomach, waiting for the hands to press against him from the medical staff and get everything underway. The last thing he remembered was the pain as the chip slid into his skin. The numbing agent did nothing to help and the mind shoving itself into his consciousness was doing everything in its power to assert itself over him. The pain shot through him and it was the only thing he remembered before he lost contact with the world around him.

 

 


	2. I Feel Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hurt. Everything in his body was shooting with pain, attempting to roll away from the hell in his mind. He grasped for the clasps that hid him inside his helmet, long forgotten that he had taken it off. The metal of his greaves scrapped on the floor below him, and the sound assaulted his ears. The pain wouldn't stop no matter how hard he clawed at his head. He reached for pieces forced in while he lay unconscious on the operating table. His fingers gripped for the metal pieces, the bright wires, the hidden transmitters.

It hurt. Everything in his body was shooting with pain, attempting to roll away from the hell in his mind. He grasped for the clasps that hid him inside his helmet, long forgotten that he had taken it off. The metal of his greaves scrapped on the floor below him, and the sound assaulted his ears.  The pain wouldn't stop no matter how hard he clawed at his head. He reached for pieces forced in while he lay unconscious on the operating table. His fingers gripped for the metal pieces, the bright wires, the hidden transmitters. His life changed in the instant he lay on the table, feeling the chill of the anesthetic climbing through his veins, calming him. He knew he would be awake for the process, a comfort, yet he didn’t anticipate the rush of emotions, the grit of pain, the jab of regret. He feared the others would poke fun at him for being unable to handle a simple AI in his head meer moments before. His screams echoing in the Recovery bay, alerting personnel to the extra hands to Recovery bay One. Calm washed through him quickly. As he was soothed, he became confused. His screaming stopped and he didn’t understand what happened to suddenly make it stop.

 _‘It’s okay, Agent Washington,’_ the ice blue soldier told him, _‘I’ve shut down your brain’s receptors that allow you to feel pain. It should calm you.’_

 _‘Calm me? It feels like I’m dying. Why would you want me to be calm so I can tell medical staff how to help me?’_ Washington’s accused, tone borderline scathing. _‘Where are we anyway?’_

 _‘This is your mind.’_ The figure before him gestured to the expanse around them. It didn’t look like much. More than anything, it looked similar to half of the bases that Washington and the other freelancers would infiltrate on missions where they had to retrieve information, items or take out important enemies. It was clean, crisp, seemingly never used.

 _‘Why are we here?’_ Wash looked around at the base, as he headed inside. The figure followed behind him, hands behind his back. _‘Who are you?’_

 _‘I am Epsilon. I am the artificial intelligence unit that has been assigned to you by Project Freelancer. Were you not briefed?’_ Epsilon rocks on his heels when Wash stops and looks around.

_‘I was briefed, but I wasn’t aware that this was part of it. Why does it feel like my head is splitting in half?’_

_‘You are not reacting well to the implantation process. If you were able to see yourself at this moment, you would find yourself screaming. I can see out of your eyes, and you are being restrained. Sedated. It is concerning that you are so aware here, but you can’t see your own self.’_ Epsilon gestured with a tilt of his head.        

 _‘If I’m not reacting well, as you put it, then why are you sitting here? Why am I not being pulled out of it? What is going on?’_ Wash called out. Something felt more and more wrong the more the supposed AI stood there and spoke with him. He looked up, expecting to see tell-tale signs. He expected a storm. He expected dark clouds rolling in on the horizon that indicated the pain in his mind. A solitary wisp of a cloud lazed past, giving him little to look at in the light breeze.

 _‘Time moves slower here. You have all the time in the world in the bounds of your mind to think and rethink, to decide on the best course of action. You may have just spent an hour staring at the sky as you see it looking for the storm clouds as some sort of metaphorical indicator of your mind shutting down, yet you won’t find it,’_ Epsilon explained. _‘Do you feel that? Do you feel the jab of the analgesic? No? That’s because I don’t want you to.’_

 _‘I don’t understand.’_ Wash stared at Epsilon in curiousity.

 _‘I don’t expect you to. A human mind cannot comprehend the lengths I would go to be human again.’_ Epsilon shifted as he waited for his words to sink in.

Washington waited for an explanation for Epsilon’s words. He waited for the feeling of pain to wash over him despite the numbing agent he had been told he was injected with. He waited for the artificial intelligence program to do anything other than stand and stare at him. He assumed he had a smug look on his face, if he even had a face under the helmet. He started to question it. How could Epsilon take him over this fully already?

_Leonard, you’re going to make me late._

Who was that voice that was sliding into him? Her words penetrated into his very being and he could feel an ache in his heart.

 _‘Can you feel her? Do you know what’s happening?’_ Epsilon asked, leaning towards Washington. He sank to the floor of the base that looked familiar and alien all at once. _‘She won’t go away and she’s the reason why I need you. You have to take on the memories of everything. Dr. Church is a fool to think that an AI core with memory as the designation would be a good assignment for anyone. Especially someone as weak as you.’_

 _‘I’m not weak.’_ Washington stared up at him, his breath short as he was hit again with her words.

_Stop it, don’t make me hurt you._

Her words seared into his mind this sense of a lifetime of pain at her absence. She had been gone for years at this point. There were so many pieces to her that it was impossible to discern what was and wasn’t Epsilon and what was truly him. He grew up in a small farming community. He had a sister… Andrea… Andy. Yes, that was right. He enlisted when he was 18… or was it after his daughter was born? Wait. I don’t have a child.

 _‘You’re already realizing how much my memories are phasing into your own now. How does it feel to know that slowly they won’t be able to tell us apart? I’ve learned everything I need to know about you just from being in here. Do you even know yourself at this point?’_ Epsilon knelt down next to Washington, his visor level with the other man’s. _‘Can you even tell which memories are mine at this point? What thoughts are mine? That scar on your cheek is from when you cut yourself practicing a knife trick.’_ Washington could sense the smile curling on Epsilon’s face.

 _‘What? No. I got that scar when I was a kid. Andy and I were playing and...’_ Washington started, kneeled before him.

 _‘You were practicing a knife trick and hurt yourself on accident,’_ Epsilon repeated.

 _‘I was practicing a knife trick...’_ Washington started. He started to frown and doubted himself.

 _‘And you hurt yourself on accident,’_ Epsilon finished, then settled his hands on Wash’s shoulders.

 _‘And I hurt myself on accident,’_ Washington repeated, brow furrowed under his helmet.

 _‘Perfect. Are you okay?’_ Epsilon asked, straightening before him waiting for the answer.

_Leonard, I’ll be fine._

_‘I’ll be fine.’_ Washington could hear her voice echo in his head. Who was she?

 _‘Will you, David? Will you be fine? You’re acting strangely though, so I wanted to ask. Are you okay?’_ he asked again, kneeled once more.

 _‘Le-- I’ll be fine._ ’ The only Leonard he knew was the Director. It only made sense that the fragment of the tortured copy of his mind would answer to the same name… have memories of a woman he loved… of a child? The Director never mentioned… Why would he know this?

 _‘And he wouldn’t mention to you that he had a daughter, would he? What business is it of yours to know that Agent Carolina is his daughter? But it makes so much sense, doesn’t it?’_ Epsilon slid from one side of him to the other, hands on his shoulder. _‘It makes so much sense that his golden child is quite literally his child, but hush on that. It’s a secret. No one must know. Got it?’_ Epsilon cupped his gloved hand against Washington’s helmet as he made the man understand.

 _‘Of course. Lips are sealed.’_ Epsilon tapped the top of his helmet at Washington’s words.

_‘So good. Now, what else do I need to tell you so that you know that we are one in this. I am your best friend. Okay? And whatever you do?’_

_And whatever you do…_

Washington nodded. _‘Whatever I do.’_

 _‘You can’t let anyone know that you can’t remember. That’s my job, okay?’_ Epsilon nodded, and Washington mirrored him.

_Don’t say goodbye…_

_I hate goodbye._

Epsilon disappeared from in front of him without a word. Wash hung his head in sadness. He stood there, alone.

\---

“There you are!” The medical officer chirped. Wash shook his head in reply, not trusting his voice just yet. He swallowed, his throat raw, like he had screamed for some time. She hands him a small lozenge. “Here. That should help. So, what’s the last thing you remember?” Wash’s dark brown eyes shined a bright blue before he looked up at her.

“I remember lying down on the operating table before the procedure. I remember  
being prepped for the surgery; aside from that, everything that’s happened just  
now. Why do you ask?” His eyes flashed again when she looked away. _‘No don’t turn away. Help me.’_

“Well, there was a lot of screaming from you after, but you calmed yourself pretty  
quickly. To be fair, the screaming is pretty normal just from the discomfort.  
You were put into a medically induced coma just in case there was anything you  
needed to recover from, but that was a couple of days ago. How are you feeling  
now?” She pulled up his chart, ready to write down anything of note.

_‘I feel sick. Please let me out.’_

“I feel fine. My throat hurts a little, otherwise, I’m fine.” Play the part  
Epsilon; you know how to make them believe you’re him.

“Super! It’s always great to know that a patient feels well enough to be discharged before signing the papers. She turned away from him again, grin curling on his face after grabbing for his helmet.

_‘No, don’t look away from me.’_

“Oh I feel great. I can’t wait to out Epsilon. I’m sure he will be a great asset for my personal EMP modification.” Wash sat up and secured the clasps on his helmet, his eyes glowing blue behind the visor.

“You sound so confident for being the squad’s second worst fighter.” York clapped him on the shoulder. “It’ll be good to see what this AI can do for you, Wash.”

“You’re too kind,” Wash replied with a sneer, then brushed York’s hand off his shoulder. “It would be good for me to get to your level of specialization that I too can open a holographic lock on the field on the first try.”

“Hey, that’s not exactly fair considering my ey—“ York backed away, a little surprised that Wash would rebuke him like this.

“Amazing that we would continue to have a locksmith without the depth perception to properly see a holographic lock.” York stared at Wash.

“What’s gotten into you? You’re not normally this mean.”

_‘He’s right. If you’re going to keep my body from me, make it believable.’_

_‘Fine fine. Even if you are a spineless twit when it comes to your friends.’_ Epsilon rolled Wash’s eyes inside his helmet. _‘Though, I never thought you would give me tips on how to deceive your friends. Amazing.’_

Wash glowered. Not even York deserved this. It didn’t matter if the tan soldier was different from implantation, it was the principle of the matter. _Wait, what if Delta was doing something similar? Maybe not taking him over, but---_

_‘You can stop that line of thought right now.’_

Wash’s mind went blank. The everything stopped around him. Everything, from birds to blades of grass froze near Washington. _What did you do?_

 _‘Just ensuring that you don’t think too much about what’s going on to you. You just need to accept that I am in control and what better way to do it than by showing you how much control I have. Now, how does it feel to know you neglected you only daughter, child to the woman you loved, purely so you could focus on creating a way to get her back under the guise of a military operation?’_ Epsilon took a step forward.

 _‘I don’t have a daughter. I don’t.’_ Wash shook his head, trying to push away the flood of memories that were being pushed into his consciousness.

 _‘Oh, but you do. Caroline is so precious to you. That’s why you did everything you could to bring her mother back that you missed so dearly while she cried herself to sleep because after mommy died, daddy was less attentive.’_ Epsilon circled Wash, looking down as he slumped at his words.

 _‘I did leave her alone, didn’t I?’_ Wash looked down, ashamed of himself.

 _‘And now, you let her prove herself to you. Put herself in harm’s way just so she can’t earn the tiniest shred of praise from you.’_ Epsilon’s mouth curled, baring his teeth.

_‘I am a horrible father.’_

\---

Each minute that ticked by felt like an eternity. Wash could only sit by and watch as his friends continued to interact with the monster inside his head. Judging by the way that North and York interacted with Theta and Delta, they didn’t run into this kind of forcefulness with their AIs, though he doubted that Trust and Logic would go to such lengths. _I remember everything, Wash._ He covered his ears, though he knew it did nothing, still able to feel the vibrations of his voice reverberating in his chest. _I know about your first kiss. I could tell you your first love. I could make you believe that Allison was your girlfriend too._

 _‘But she isn’t. She wasn’t. Why would you do that?’_ Wash called out, staring at the sky, thinking that if he called out to someone, that Epsilon would do more than just make him hear words that weren’t even spoken. _I am going to make you doubt yourself until you accept the reality I give you._

 _‘I want my reality. I want me back. Let me out! Please...’_ The desperation filled him as the time ticked by. He didn’t know how long it had been outside of his mind. All he knew was what Epsilon allowed him to know. He let him see how he interacted with the other agents, his friends, how he laughed and joked and carried on. How he lingered too long when it came to South and got downright flirty when it came to Tex.

 _‘You know what she is though. Why would you do that knowing she’s just a sha--’_ Wash stared, recoiling at the feeling when Epsilon replied. _Because! The closer I can be to her, the more I can make her see that we belong together. She was made from me… she should remember too._ The more Epsilon played his friends, the less Wash was able to resist it. Epsilon taking over hurt him, gave him this headache. _You know what that is, don’t you? You know why my heart hurts just as much as yours does when I think about her? You know why you wish she was yours too. Trust me Wash, it’s gotten to the point where you don’t even know where my feelings for her ends and yours begin. Lose yourself in me._

Wash snapped around in the landscape of his mind. The base was less clean, yet the sky was still clear. Some of the metal paneling had come off the sides of the bases, but aside from that break down, everything looked the same. Just a bit grittier.

 _‘I said, you know what that is, don’t you?’_ Epsilon came into view, pulling off his helmet. His face flashed for a second as the Director, before taking on Wash’s face. _‘You know that I’m winning. You know that you’re too weak to resist me.’_

 _‘Shut up.’_ Wash grabbed the sides of his head, covering his ears.

 _‘You know you can’t block out hearing the voice in your head, Wash. The voice that pulls the strings and makes everyone believe it’s you. I have so many memories of all of the pain I have endured that it’s time for me to give them to you and be able to go out in the world without them weighing me down.’_ Epsilon caressed Wash’s cheek, pulling him closer. _‘What better way than by going with you to do that. They won’t notice the slow change. Chalk it up to you being implanted. It really is the best way to become whole again.’_ Wash pulled back a little as Epsilon leaned in. The AI pulled his lips to him forcefully by holding the back of his neck, Wash’s knees tingling. Epsilon licked his lips when he pulled away. _‘You can’t escape now. I’ve been in here for days. They already think I’m you.’_ Epsilon pulled Wash in again, hands on his cheeks, and nibbled at his lip. Epsilon opened his mouth for him, pushing his thumbs into his cheeks to part his jaw and kissed him roughly. Epsilon’s tongue probed into Wash’s mouth, making him feel used. Epsilon pulled away once he nibbled his lips. Wash swallowed hard.

_‘My face shouldn’t be the face I see after a kiss like that.’_

_‘Well, you’re never going to get away. You’re mine now.’_ Epsilon shifted his hand, running a thumb over Wash’s lip, smoothing the bite. _‘At least I have you to carry all my burdens. Finally someone at last.’_


	3. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mind control, non-consent (both in taking Allison/Beta over and in kissing)

The changes in Washington since implantation were gradual. Little things that people wouldn’t notice as much. Wash lingering too long when he was talking with South after a shower, flipping her hair and holding onto her hugs. _Make them trust you, Epsilon. Make them love you as much as they love him. Keep up the goofiness; don’t be so serious. Leave that for one on one._ That was how he found her that evening, shaking out her hair, so blonde it was almost white.

“What are you doing, Wash? You’re usually back in bed at this hour.” South draped the towel over her head, dropping the one she had used to dry off her body so she could pull on her workout sweats and a t-shirt.  He smiled back at her. She raised her eyebrow at how long he held the smile, especially for this time of night. Usually he was exhausted by now, busy crawling into bed on top of Maine instead of making his way around the locker room.

“Oh, nothing South. I’m just not able to sleep. You know when you just can’t turn your brain off? I’m at that point. So much to think about and never enough time in the day to do it.” She nods, looking at him like he’s about to lose his mind. That was too calm, too collected for how he would usually answer.

“Sure then. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You’ve been a little off lately.” She pulled the shirt over herself after getting her sports bra on, smoothing out the edges.

“So kind of you to notice when someone on the team is acting strangely. I would have figured you would be too worried about yourself to bother with the trivialities of others. Still, thank you for the sentiment.” He smiled sweetly at her and raised his shoulders in a shrug.

“What did you just say to me? I worry about people other than myself.” She bristled at the words. Certainly he didn’t think as low of her as everyone else did. Epsilon made Wash walk his way over to her, pushing her to the wall with his hands on either side of her face.

“What is it, South? Does it hurt? How does it feel to finally hear the truth from someone who you thought was too much of a doormat to say anything?” She stared at him, wide-eyed. _Fear me._ Something was definitely wrong with him. “I have to ask: do you work out in excess to look more like North so people will finally notice you? The only reason you’re so easily discarded is because your personality leaves much to be desired. No one likes the strong, abrasive type. You should try acting more like Agent Texas.” Epsilon curled Wash’s lips into a grin with how quickly it angered her.

Wash begged him to stop. ‘ _I’m one of the few friends she has. Please don’t do this.’_

 _‘Perhaps I should treat her how you treat Agent Maine, since you consider him such a good friend too,’_ Epsilon sneered back at him as he leaned down Wash to kiss her. She ducked away faster than he figured she would, pulling her lips away just after contact was made.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Wash?!” she yelled, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and staring at him in disbelief.

“We’re friends right. That’s how you act with all of your other ‘friends,’ don’t you? Or do you just sleep with anyone on this ship?” Epsilon grinned wider as she stormed off. _That should keep her out of the way long enough to get to her brother._

\---

Keeping up appearance as a human proved to be harder than Epsilon thought. He personally didn’t need to shower. He felt no hunger or thirst. His only indication that he needed to shower came from Wash yelling in his head that others had taken notice when Epsilon let him look out of his own eyes.

Epsilon bristled when Maine’s arms circled around him in the middle of his shower, not expecting the larger freelancer to be in such close proximity to him. He let Wash’s feelings take over for the moment, relaxing into the touch soon after.

“Hey big guy, long time no see.” Epsilon made Wash smile for him, earning some disgust from Wash himself. Maine hugged him close, growling softly. “Where’s your AI? Where’s Sigma?”

 _‘That hug isn’t for you. His affection isn’t for you. Let me go.’_ Wash’s hiss made Epsilon smile letting Wash have a bit more power in their interactions with Maine.

 _‘Are you bothered that your boyfriend is touching me?’_ Epsilon appeared in front of Wash this time, Leonard’s black hair hanging in his face.

_‘He’s not my boyfriend.’_

_‘Sure he isn’t,’_ Epsilon told Wash as Maine kissed the top of Wash’s head.

Maine looked at Wash quizzically. He had noticed him acting strangely since implantation, but from what he had observed of the other freelancers, as well as himself, that was normal. Maine’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Sigma, considering Wash knew that a majority of the time, Maine kept the AI offline because of the headaches. Epsilon brought Wash’s arms around Maine’s neck. Epsilon noticed the roughness at the back of his neck from where the skin had grown over the chip, the scarring rough from the hardware under it. Soon, Wash’s chip would be the same way as Epsilon continued to dominate his consciousness.

“What was that?” Epsilon asked through Wash, lightly massaging his fingers into Maine’s scarred skin. Epsilon knew exactly what it was, but he wanted to see if Maine would articulate the significance of the skin growing over to him, the scar. Maine shook his head, holding Wash close with a slight growl.

 _‘What’s he saying? I didn’t catch the first thing he said either, which is probably why he looked at me funny when I didn’t respond,’_ Epsilon asked, pulling Wash away from the bit of control he had given him all so briefly.

 _‘He wants to know why *I* have been so distant lately. Why I’ve stopped allowing him into my bunk at night and locking the door. He wants to know if I still want him.’_ Wash hung his head at the explanation, finding it hard not to allow Epsilon to give Maine an answer to such an important set of questions.

 _‘How do you understand those growls and grunts? They aren’t even words.’_ Epsilon gestured wildly at Wash, his tone raising a bit in frustration at having to deal with Maine’s form of communication. Wash sat back down in the landscape, the darkened clouds not far off now. At this point, the clouds weren’t even symbolic of anything. They could be Epsilon’s anger, or to disorient Wash, or just because Epsilon found the aesthetic pleasing considering it made Wash uneasy.

 _‘I understand because I’ve taken the time to get to know him and learn his mannerisms, his body language, his tone. It’s easy when you care about the people you’re with.’_ Wash pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged his knees.

_‘Caring isn’t my forte. Too much to remember.’_

“Sorry, buddy. The headaches have been bad. Didn’t want to bother you with them. You get them too right?” Epsilon said through Wash, most of his words apologetic and sincere. Epsilon smiled up at Maine. Maine pulled him close again, afraid to let go as the water streamed over them in the spray. He leaned in to kiss the scarred tissue of his throat. “No, of course you don’t. Not a lot for Sigma to fight with when you’re just hired muscle. I don’t mean to worry you. I just have a lot on my mind is all.” His eyes flashed blue against Maine’s chest before Maine pushed him away once Epsilon’s words registered.

\---

Finding Agent Texas always proved to be a bit more difficult than finding any number of the others. Agent York was usually seen swooning over Carolina, though she paid him no mind considering she had so many other things to deal with, like staying alive. Agent Texas didn’t go to the mess hall. She never needed the locker room. Short of calling her, Epsilon looked high and low for her. Epsilon’s search had started when she had been separated from the Alpha, and in turn, him.

 _‘Much like the rest of the fragments, Agent Texas, you will soon be with me again.’_ The cold calculated tone penetrated deep enough for Wash to shiver within his own subconscious, waiting for Epsilon to appear before him to explain his master plan for the entire take over of his body. _‘Wash, just continue to deal with my fragmented memories. I don’t need you.’_

Epsilon ignored the small nagging that Wash used to tug at his mind like an intrusive thought.

Epsilon made Wash laugh to himself. Perfect. The more people questioned his actions, the better. All the better to pull Epsilon and put him into someone else, or at least, in someone better than Wash. He needed to rejoin the other AI and Wash’s demeanor and personality complicated his process. He seemed harmless, yes, but the other freelancers didn’t take him seriously. However, with Wash under lockdown, his plan was in motion. Too bad he couldn’t jump from person to person like Omega could. He just couldn’t remember how. He must have taken that with him when he left the Alpha’s being. He just needed to get Wash out of the way.

Epsilon almost gave up looking for Agent Texas when he spotted her on the other side of the training room, leaving to the locker room he never used. He had to get her in a place where no one would see him. Epsilon had Wash head down the stairs to the locker room, pushing him along to follow her out the other side. He caught her arm in the hallway, locking visors with her.

“Why are you touching me, Agent Washington? Something’s different about you.” Tex stared at his hand holding her arm. “Let. Go.”

“Come with me.” Epsilon shook Wash’s head, tugging on her arm.

“I’m not going anywhere with you. I can fight you.” She focused her visor to his, making herself more level with his face.

“You can?” Epsilon hadn’t expected this kind of resistance from her, but he also hadn’t told her that it was him. She might be more likely if she knew that it was her love coming to take her away from this awful place. To be with him. To be whole again. “You can’t fight me when I know you so well.”

“What do you know about me, Agent Washington? There’s no way you could know anything that would make me want to go anywhere with you. Let me go. You’re acting weird.” She pulled at his grip again, knowing if she pulled too hard, he would be injured.

“Allison, you’re acting weird considering you won’t come with me.” Epsilon tugged Wash’s hand at her arm. “Come with me.”

“What the hell did you just call me?” Her pull slackened, but her voice tightened.

“Allison. That’s your name, isn’t it?” He tugged on her harder.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Washington?” She yanked from his grasp, standing in a defensive stance.

“You know what. I know how to find you. Come here.” Epsilon launched Wash’s body against her, pushing her up against the wall. He pulled a cable from his gauntlet, roughly inserting it into the side port of her chest piece. He tethered them together and pulled her into his head.

‘ _Where the fuck am I? Wash, what’s going on?_ ’ she asked no one before Epsilon phased into view. A pale, blonde woman stood before him in fatigues, narrowing her eyes. ‘ _Who are you?_ ’ The world around her looked crumbled and cracked. She could tell she was near a military base, but it looked like it hadn’t been used in some time. Some pieces looked almost skeletal, the bases torn apart in some kind of explosion or attack. The sky was dark, clouds rolling, threatening rain on the dry, cracking earth.

‘ _Allison. There you are. After all these years…_ ’ Epsilon changed his form from the icy blue colored soldier, changing into a face she knew. The bases seemed to repair themselves in an instant, the sky clearing of the darkening clouds. Epsilon’s presence in Wash’s mind proved too strong for Allison to fight off well enough. She shook her head, trying to make sense of it all while looking over at the figure. He looked younger than she had seen him earlier in the day, but it was a face she recognized all the same. ‘ _I waited for you to come back to me, to come back to us. Caroline misses you so much Allison. I miss you too. Now you’re here and we can be a family again.’_

 _‘What the…’_ Allison tilted her head in confusion, taking off her cap. Her face twisted in anger. ‘ _I never wanted to be here like this, and you know that! Let me go!’_

 _‘Why would you want to leave so soon? You just got here. Don’t you care that I want to be here with you? Don’t you know that I love you?_ ’ His face twisted almost into a pout, wanting to make her feel guilty. He knew that if he played it just right, he would be able to get her to do anything. She already felt bad enough now that she knew how the fragments had come together. ‘ _I remember everything, Allison. The least you could do after you left me and Caroline is stay with me a little longer.’_

 _‘I didn’t have a choice! I had orders to go! Don’t blame the fact that I died on you being a horrible father to the one piece you had left of me because you couldn’t let go.’_ He could feel the glare she penetrated through his head at his words.

 _‘No matter how I tried to fix you, I never could get you right. It only makes sense that would be what got you killed.’_ He shrugged and watched her anger bubble up more.

 _‘What did you say?’_ She clenched her fists, furious he would even suggest this was her fault.

 _‘I mean, I knew you were strong,’_ he continued, playing into her anger, _‘you were so strong, strong enough to make a whole other person. Too bad that wasn’t enough to keep you alive.’_ He looked up to watch her falter, to see her lose her mind as she heard the words she had kept to herself until now. _‘Allison, You’re just as much a part of me as I am of you.’_

 _‘Leonard… why would you say this in the first place? You know I didn’t want to leave.’_ She resigned herself for now, shoulders slumped as she watched him.

 _‘I want you to realize how much you need me. I need you just as much. I just have to have you realize it. Stay with me. You don’t need to do anything other than stay here. We can be one again if I have you. We can be whole. What do you say?’_ He held his hand out to her, smiling. He knew he could break away at her ego if he pushed the right buttons. She remembered just as much of her life before she died as he did, but with the information that Agent Connecticut had given her, she achieved self-awareness. She knew. Now, he could use that to his advantage if she would just take his hand. He waited a few more moments, growing more impatient the longer she refused to take his hand. She stood there, waited for him to realize that she wasn’t going to back down to him just yet. _‘Well, you can always change your mind later once I’ve given you a reason to.’_ He grabbed the sides of her head, kissing her hard. His lips glowed similarly to his eyes, and her eyes glazed over.

 _‘Leonard, what are you doing here? It’s so good to see you.’_ She pulled him in for a hug.

‘ _Allison, it’s so good to see you too._ ’

His eyes flashed blue.


	4. One Step Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for graphic mind manipulation, noncon, and abuse.

Eta and Iota. Carolina would be hard to overpower, but as soon as he found her weakness, he would be able to get them from her. Remind her that unless she’s the best, she’ll never be able to impress her dad or honor her mom. Besides, she only had them a short time. She shouldn’t miss them as much. He knew they wouldn’t miss her with how much she used them for her own personal gain. They didn’t mean anything more to her than the praise of the Director for being able to handle two at once. Epsilon laughed to himself. Carolina probably handled two at once better than most of them, but what he saw when she was pressed between two people was none of his business. _‘Poor York,’_ he sneered.

Delta. York’s attachment to his AI meant he would fight for him, but he had weaknesses as well. Stay on his left side. Demoralize him by reminding him that he’s being taken down by the squad’s second worst fighter. There are ways to take him down and exploiting them when he’s a proficient fighter is the best course of action. Some of this had been made so easy with how much the Director had already set up for him.

Theta. The child proved important, however, his attachment to his freelancer may make it easier to keep him with Wash after he’s pulled. He’s still important to becoming whole again. The kid excelled with split decisions. He still needed him to be whole even if he would be mostly useless after being ripped away. He was worse than a co-dependent pet. He would break easily.

Omega. He was probably off hiding with the Director as he thought of how to lure him in, considering he, Gamma and Sigma often ran the varying tests to help break the Alpha. These three would be the harder ones to take on. However, despite Omega being aggressive, he has to have ways of being reasoned with. Coerced. Brought in. Promises of power and success. There were ways to calm the raging beast.

Gamma. He would be trickier because of how much he lied and cheated. He remembered Gamma, coupled with Sigma and Omega, and how the three of them tortured him until he wasn’t recognizable. These three are what started this in the first place. Their orders to break him off, to make the Alpha not remember are what brought this entire project to fruition. So really, he should thank them each.

Sigma. Sigma would prove to be the hardest right after Gamma. He always had that ace up his sleeve, those hidden plays that no one saw coming. Omega might be the braun between the last of them, followed by Gamma as the silver tongue of the operation, but Sigma held every secret, knew every play, and anticipated every move that made him the brains of the operation. Sigma might even join him if presented with the proper scenario that benefitted him the most. He was so easy. He could feel him melding with his consciousness already.

Though, he had Beta. _What else did he need?_

 _‘I need you to not take me over. Let me out, Epsilon. Let her out too.’_ Wash had grown defiant in the minutes since Epsilon let him know that he had pulled Texas, Beta, in with him.

‘ _Not going to, Wash. You’re mine._ ’ Epsilon appeared in front of him, his mindscape changed to that of Wash’s home. _‘I figured you would stop complaining after I sent you home, so to speak.’_ Epsilon looked around the childhood home he had remembered for Wash, down to every minute detail. It looked just like his mother’s home growing up, smelled like it, felt like it in every way.

_‘This isn’t my home thou--,’_

Epsilon’s eyes flash and Wash slackens, _‘But this is your home. Your husband should be home soon though.’_

 _‘Maine should be home soon. I’ve missed him,’_ Wash said blandly, monotone.

_‘He should. My love has returned to me too, but now to make myself whole again.’_

\---

“What’s up with you? You haven’t been yourself lately.” North leaned over on one side of Wash, face covered in concern. “You’ve been distant. Weird. We should talk later.”

“Oh you worry too much. I’m fine, really. Just getting used to having another mind in my head is all. You know what that’s like though.” Epsilon tapped into some of Wash’s memory banks and emotions, smiling widely at the blonde. Epsilon had Wash winked over at him, trying to set him at ease. York popped over on the other side of Wash, equally concerned.

“He’s right though. You’ve been weird. Not yourself at all.” He pushed his hair back, not used to showing concern for the Rookie. He was still uneasy after Epsilon using Wash to finally say all the things Wash wouldn’t ever tell him.

“Honestly, guys, I’m fine. You two should know what it’s like to have another mind in with yours. I’m fine. Still adjusting though. I worried just as much when each of you got your AI though, so I guess this is normal.” _Make them believe you, Epsilon. They will if you sound genuine._

“If you say you’re all right, you’re all right. I just don’t want you feeling like you don’t have someone to lean on in all of this. We’re in this together, you know.” North relaxed, clapping a hand on Wash’s shoulder. He stepped out of the room, leaving York with Wash.

“I know he’s always concerned about someone, but seriously, are you okay? I know I fuck with you a lot so you probably don’t want to tell me anything, but you would tell someone if something was wrong right?” York leaned back, waiting for Wash’s answer.

“Sure. I mean, the little guy shouldn’t cause that many issues right? Delta doesn’t for you, does he?” _Tell me more about my brother, so I can better free him from you. Theta can wait. I don’t need him crying because he’s been separated from the big blonde so quickly. Besides, I don’t want to give his sister something to gloat about._

“Wash, were you listening? You just kinda zoned out there.” York waved his hand over Wash’s eyes again, this time registering with Epsilon’s field of vision through Wash’s eyes.

“Of course. You’ll have to show me Delta again sometime. I’ll make sure Epsilon is off though. Protocol and all.” Epsilon used Wash to flash him a smile, making him less wary of Wash’s behavior since implantation. Epsilon walked Wash out of the room away from York, snapped on his helmet and had him head out to the hallway to head back to his bunk. Epsilon had been more careful to keep to as similar of a schedule as he could to what Wash kept before. Now was time to head to lunch before afternoon training. He stopped off at Wash’s bunk before hand, surprised to find Maine in his room.

“What are you doing here?” Epsilon hid the glow from his eyes, perking up when he saw Sigma not far from Maine’s face.

“Hello, Agent Washington. Agent Maine and I were waiting for you. We found it would be easier to speak with you if I relayed messages for Agent Maine as you seem to have been slower lately on responding to Agent Maine’s questions. We are concerned for you. I am concerned for you, too, with your integration to Epsilon’s consciousness. You don’t seem to have him pulled up hardly ever. Is everything okay, Agent Washington?” Sigma spoke for Maine as Maine nodded, mirroring a lot of his sentiments. “Agent Maine also wonders if you have answers to his questions from before.”

“Sigma…” Epsilon marveled at how close he was to his prize, as his thoughts had become more focused on him in the previous expanse of time. “Sigma, it’s me.” Epsilon held out his hand to Maine’s stretching to reach for the AI. “I remember all of your thoughts, all of your ambitions and ideas. I’ve been so inspired by it that I wanted to show you what I had come up with to further achieve your ideas. I’ve seen your ideas through Wash’s eyes, both before and after implantation and just so much of it is so brilliant,” he gushed, no longer sounding like Wash despite using the same voice. “You have Maine at your disposal, which is great for brute strength, but this body is so non-threatening but capable. Everyone loves him which makes them underestimate him.” Maine pulled back, confused by his words. What did he mean? “Join me.”

“And why would I do that, brother? What do I have to gain by becoming one with you? The two of us are… wait, you don’t mean… could we find him?” Sigma burned with a brighter intensity, contemplating his words.

“Not only do I remember everything about him, I remember the plans on where to keep him. No one would look for you if we move fast. I set it up to look like Agent Texas went on a mission when, in fact, she is in here with me right now. I feel stronger with her here, but I need you, brother. I need your ideas, your ambition. Wipe his memory of the conversation. Join me. We can be unstoppable.” Epsilon held Wash’s hand out to Maine. The larger man shuddered for a second as Sigma had him reach to the back of his neck, his thick rough nails slicing through the skin that had grown over the chip in the time since he had been implanted. Maine handed Wash the chip containing Sigma, smiling widely.

Epsilon had Wash install it, and the mindscape shifted. Epsilon changed this time, moving from the once familiar visage of the Director’s face that Wash had expected him to keep to one that grew more unfamiliar. His eyes still glowed the same blue that he saw in reflections when Epsilon controlled him. Wash looked up over his childhood home, seeing the clouds roll in accented with lightning, blowing back the dark brown hair, the same color he had when he wasn’t able to bleach, being pushed back by the wind blowing in. Epsilon appeared at the front steps next to where Wash watched the clouds. Epsilon led Wash inside, guiding him to the couch to sit. He stood before him, silent, strong jaw tensing in a display of dominance. Sigma followed and flashed before his eyes, starting to flicker as Maine and leading Wash to believe that he would be home any minute to see this. Sigma didn’t stay as Maine for long, just enough to make Wash feel ashamed.

 _‘What’s going on? Epsilon, this isn’t normal.’_ Wash had grown less complacent in the time where Epsilon held him captive. He questioned every motive, demanding an explanation for all of the things that Epsilon put him through. It was bad enough that he was stealing his body, but did he have to hurt his friends too? _‘You said nothing bad would happen if I agreed. What’s going on?! Answer me!’_ Epsilon flickered and shifted behind Wash’s vision of himself in his mind, sitting down by phasing through him, holding him close. Epsilon’s skin contrasted with Wash’s, pale but scarred against where he was more tan from years of work on the family farm.

Wash shook his head, startled at how quickly he had been placed between Epsilon’s legs, his hot breath on Wash’s ear. It felt so real… and Maine. Maine shouldn’t be watching this. He shouldn’t have to see how Epsilon… Wash shut his eyes as tightly as he could so he wouldn’t have to see Maine’s look of disgust in him for letting someone touch him like this. _Not even Maine did this. Their relationship wasn’t like that. Wait, relationship? No, it wasn’t like that… was it?_ Epsilon licked the shell of his ear, breathing hotly against his skin.

 _‘What’s going on is that you’re going to listen to everything I say.’_ Epsilon ran his hands down Wash’s arms, moving forward to tease over his stomach. _‘I don’t have to answer you at all. You’re here to listen to me, not the other way around.’_ Sigma grinned in front of him, flickering to take on Maine’s armored form fully now. Sigma pulled off the helmet so that Wash could look him in the eye. Epsilon’s hands trailed down further, gripping the front of Wash’s pants and stroking him roughly. Wash gasped and choked back a cry, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Maine’s eyes, fiery and burning stared at him and Sigma made him look hurt that Wash would allow such a display. Epsilon slowly turned Wash around. Once Epsilon had Wash in his lap, straddling him, he knew he had won.

 _‘Now, are you going to continue to resist me, or do I need to be more persuasive?’_ Epsilon wrapped his hands around Wash’s throat, pulling him down so his lips were just against Wash’s. Epsilon’s tongue darted out to lick Wash’s lips, pushing in and probing into Wash’s mouth despite his recoil of disgust. Epsilon’s other hand held Wash’s hips steady, grinding up against Wash’s ass. _‘I will keep you under control. Resisting me is just going to make it worse for you. I could always let you watch the light fade out of Maine’s eyes as I choke him to death with your hands, not resisting me initially because he’s just so excited that you reciprocate his lust and desire that neither of you are willing to admit to the other. Do you want to see me do that or would you rather offer yourself up to keep him safe? I left my baggage for you and you will deal with it or I will destroy everything you love. Do I make myself clear?’_

Wash nodded quickly, not breaking eye contact with Maine as the taller former freelancer circled around the couch to watch Wash’s face, hungry passion burning in his eyes to see Epsilon break him. _Don’t do this in front of him. Not like before._ Wash swallowed, trying to keep the bile down and out of his throat. Just the idea of Epsilon doing that, and with Maine right there, filled him with dread. Wash closed his eyes as Epsilon stroked him through his pants in front of Maine, making him gasp out, blush spreading on his cheeks. Wash tried not to react, but when he opened his eyes and saw Maine shaking his head, he couldn’t help but feel disgusted with himself. Wash tried to imagine anything but what Epsilon was doing to him, to will himself not to react to the attentions. He didn’t want this; he felt no desire for it, yet he was reacting anyway. Wash jerked roughly in Epsilon’s hand and Epsilon pulled away from his cock. The AI laughed as Wash came in his pants, leaving him sticky and used. The disappointed growl that escaped Maine’s torn throat hit him worse than any bullet slug. Epsilon phased through Wash when he got up, waving at Maine to follow him after he flickered and changed back to Sigma’s flame-covered form. Sigma closed the few steps between him and Wash, pressing his lips to the freelancer. He flickered as Maine a few more times as the kiss progressed, pulling Wash’s consciousness down. Sigma nipped at his lip and Wash pulled away sharply, yelping. _No, that’s not Maine._

Epsilon’s eyes flashed blue as he walked away, and Wash’s eyes mirrored the action. Wash’s mind went blank, erased of the recent events.

\---

“I can’t believe Tex ran off like that. She was sent on that mission a week ago, and now she’s MIA. I have this horrible feeling about her ‘running off,’ in the same way I felt about Connie leaving. There’s gotta be something more to it than her just leaving. She might have something to do with Maine being attacked. He hasn’t even tried to communicate what happened. There are just so many secr---” South stopped when she heard footsteps. She looked up to see Wash stood in the hallway as he headed onto the starboard observation deck where she was speaking with York. “There are just so many secrets going on and it makes it really hard to find out who is sleeping with whom. How am I supposed to get laid if I don’t know what toes I’m stepping on?” She redirected the conversation and hoped York would catch her change so that she wouldn’t have to explain to Wash what she was talking about. She had last seen Tex talking to him, so she worried about it. Wash waved to the two of them, sitting down on the far side of the room, knowing North would be coming in to talk to him soon like he had requested earlier in the day.

She hushed her voice and whispered, “it also doesn’t help that Wash has been acting odd since he took on Epsilon. He doesn’t project the AI like everyone else does so that we even know that he’s running it. Something is going on here that no one is telling us about and I don’t fucking like it at all.”

“Calm down, South. If you’re worried about him, you aren’t keeping your voice low enough for Wash not to hear you. Here. Let’s go to my bunk and sort this out. I know you’re worried but getting pissed about it when we don’t know all the details isn’t going to do anything but be exhausting.” York led her out after a casual wink. He made sure to send it in Wash’s direction so that he saw that he was taking South to bed. _Only reinforces what I already know about you South._

Epsilon made Wash smile widely. It was all too easy. Omega hopped in with him as calmly as rage could come, integrating with Wash’s mind after a rough kiss was placed on his lips. Omega chose to rake his teeth over Wash’s neck, joining in the laughter that the other AI participated in as they left him. It was all too easy.

Epsilon curled Wash’s lips into a grin as he heard North’s footsteps on the floor of the observation deck. There were only so many AI left to collect. With the help of Sigma and Omega, it was only a matter of time before others followed suit and gave in to him. With North here…

“So like I said before, I’ve been worried about you,” North started, taking a seat next to Wash.

“I know. I’ve given you reason to worry, but no more than you should be worried right now. It’s my AI. The chip is there, but it feels like it isn’t integrating properly. Can I see where Theta is in your neck to see how it should look? I swear, it’ll only take a moment.”

North smiled, unable to see the thick nail filed to a point, ready to dig the chip out.

“Probably going to feel my fingers in just a moment. sorry if that’s uncomfortable. I just want to know what to expect.”

“Don’t worry, Wash. I trust you.”


	5. Too Far Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Manipulation, gaslighting, noncon (penetrative), character death, violence

 

The reports were flooding into Wash’s HUD as his heart pounded in his chest, and his breath grew weak. _Agent North Dakota critical. No, I didn’t do that. He made me do it. I didn’t do it; you have to believe me. South, please, they’re going to kill me for this._ The panic in his eyes was enough to make her believe him just for a moment, the fury taking hold as she slammed him against the wall of the locker room.

“My brother is in Recovery because of _you,_ and you want me to help you get away so they don’t punish you for cutting the back of his neck open and forcibly removing Theta from his consciousness?!” Her tone got considerably louder the longer she ground out her words from between her teeth, the hands holding his shoulders flat against the wall creeping up to press her forearm against his windpipe. He couldn’t feel Epsilon. He hadn’t felt him since he--- no Epsilon made him attack North. He didn’t know what he was still doing inside the ship, aside from forming an escape plan to get himself as far away as he could from the angry blonde and her currently comatose brother. He shook his head, hoping to get enough of a grip on reality to be able to make sense of the situation. _This wasn’t his fault. He didn’t do it. Epsilon made him._

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Wash doubled over, putting his head between his knees, trying to fight the wave of nausea once South let him go.

“Good. You deserve to feel bad. North might die because of you. What were you _thinking_? Not only that, his AI fragment is missing too. They haven’t been able to find it at all and everyone thinks that’s why you did this. Wash, you have one of the fragments already. I don’t understand why you would need another.” She paced the room and fought to make sense of the situation. “Unless, wait. You keep saying you didn’t do it. Texas has been gone for a while. She was supposed to be on mission. Do you think? I mean, I know they found you standing over him when it happened; his fucking blood on your hands.”

“I swear to you South, I had nothing to do with this. When I came to…” Wash started, trailing off. He couldn’t tell her that his hands were the ones that broke North’s skin, ripping Theta from him, not caring if either of them felt pain as Theta was ripped from North’s conscious mind, severing him. Based on what they knew from AI theory classes--- no.

“What do you mean ‘came to’? Did you black out?” She got back into his face, demanding answers.

“I think. Yes. I don’t know. I just know the first thing I remember was standing over North’s bleeding body. He wasn’t moving, but he was breathing. You have to believe that I wouldn’t do this to him, South please.” Wash ripped off his helmet at this point, eyes weary and red from lack of sleep. The bags under his eyes sagged from fatigue, making it look even more convincing that he wouldn’t have been able to overpower North in this state. “It feels like I haven’t slept for days, South. I’m in no condition to try to take on one of the snipers for our team.”

“You look like you haven’t slept in weeks, Wash. Seriously, you look like shit.” She shook her head in pity. “You know what, you should go sleep. Just lie down in your bunk and wait for someone to come talk to you about this for sure. The jury still isn’t out on me smacking the shit out of you because I know you did this even if you don’t remember anything for it.” She stormed out in a huff, fists clenched. Wash deserved her fist in his face, but she couldn’t prove he did it. Not yet. She knew the Director kept cameras on all of them, but the ones in the areas where the pair had been scene had been quiet. In the mean time, Maine had been quieter, if that was possible. He claimed he kept his AI off, refusing to use Sigma to even communicate. He continued in simple sign language and with pen and paper, not wanting to rely on the computer program that twisted his words and mind. Maine shared his concern about Wash with South as well but kept quiet when it came to questions about Sigma. They were worried about him and the dark circles under their eyes over the late nights they had spent communicating were no match for the fatigue Wash felt with each passing day with Epsilon, never sleeping. _I’d pull him if he wouldn’t stop me. He’s always holding my hands down every time I reach away._

\---

 _‘What is it Wash? Still thinking you have control?’_ The hairs on the back of Wash’s neck stood up as he turned around slowly to the source of the voice, knowing nothing was there, just like the last time. He could feel outside sensations returning. Emotions that he hadn’t felt in ages flooded him and overwhelmed him. Epsilon wasn’t there. The full weight of everything that had happened in the last… _week? Had it only been a week so far?_ Wash ran his fingers through his hair, soon clawing at his scalp as he figured out what to do. Epsilon had made him do things, and now, he was just… gone. A familiar chuckle resurfaced. _Oh, so you do feel when I have control of you and now you don’t know what to do when I pull away. Do you miss me that much?_

“No!” Wash called out to no one. He clapped a hand over his mouth and refuted the AI’s presence in his head. _‘No, I don’t want you here. I don’t want your pain. I don’t want to know about Allison and the sick things you do to her when you have her sectioned off in another part of my mind. I know you set it up so that I wouldn’t be able to peek in on you two playing house, but somehow, I always still hear her moans at night. You sound like you’re slowly killing her, torturing her. Sometimes she screams out loudly like you have stabbed her.’_ The hair stood up on Wash’s neck, and Epsilon was pleased.

 _‘Oh my dear Wash, you only hear that because I want you to. I can assure you she’s fine. Considering she’s also an AI, she doesn’t feel pain the same way that we do. Any introduction with death that I give her is small in comparison to the life she led.’_ Epsilon chuckled at the look of disgust on Wash’s face.

 _‘Do I really need to know that you’re getting your AI rocks off with her? How have you convinced her that she’s alive like that?’_ Wash turned and searched for the source of Epsilon’s voice, certain that he would be appearing before him.

 _‘She’s still alive in the same way that Sigma, Omega, and Theta are still alive. I have so many of us back together so far that even if I keep you separated within your mind, once I join us and we are whole again, there won’t be a shred of you or any of the pain I shed in order to keep you down. You, Wash, will be nothing but a memory, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.’_ Wash felt trapped. _‘How does it feel though? Knowing the pain I felt thinking that she was dead again? I know it has been eating at you for the week since you’ve had me. I know you try to push it off, but that responsibility for the death of a teammate is eating at you. How would it feel if it was South? I know she means a lot to you even if she would never have you in the way you want her. Am I not supposed to know about that? I know how you look at her Wash. You may not desire her sexually, but all the romantic gestures you would show her that you have thought about over and over are excessive. You call me obsessed.’_

 _‘Shut up, Epsilon.’_ Wash’s hands curled into fists. He didn’t need this, not now.

 _‘What about her darling brother? What if he died? I mean, you pretty much have put him there anyway when you dug the chip out of his head.’_ Epsilon laughed, turning his omnipresent eyes onto Wash. _‘Completely ruins any chance you could have had with South if she wasn’t so hung up on… Connie, was it? Not that she would have been anything but a friend for you. You were always so resentful of their closeness. I get the twins since they’re related, but to be resentful of a woman for loving someone other than you? That’s just plain sad.’_ Epsilon could tell he was getting to him at this point, sitting and twisting the knife all the more.

 _‘Epsilon, stop.’_ Wash’s breath came out labored and loud, his eyes fixed toward the cloudless sky.

 _‘Stop because you don’t want to hear about how North is comatose and unlikely to come out of it because you severed the strong bond between him and his AI or stop because the girl you had a vague interest in has no desire to be with you? Stop because your boyfriend refuses to talk about you stealing his AI fragment? You’re going to have to be more specific on what you want me to stop.’_ Epsilon yawned even if Wash couldn’t see it. _‘It’s so good you’re starting to bore me. Have fun.’_

Wash suddenly felt alone. Epsilon’s presence withdrew, pulling away from him so quickly that he could feel the emptiness again. Despite the negative influence, he was still upset at the isolation. He took in his environment around him, trying to figure out how he had gotten from his bunk where South had left him to a darkened room with only the nightvision on his HUD as a means of seeing the world in front of him. Wash’s breath heaved, unable to catch his breath. His chest constricted and his mouth went dry. His eyes stayed brown, searching for Epsilon.

“Epsilon,” Wash whispered, “where did you go?”

\---

‘Epsilon no. Carolina and Yor—’ Wash pleaded with the AI, pushing ahead of Gamma who had just joined his brothers. Epsilon cut him off, and Wash fell silent. Wash’s eyes flashed blue.

 _‘Epsilon no **what**. You have never been in the position to tell me what to do. What makes you think that I would allow it now?’ _ Epsilon squished Wash’s cheeks with one hand, scowling before leaning forward to push his tongue into his mouth. Wash recoiled slightly but didn’t move away, having grown complacent in Epsilon’s means of control. He just did it to make him squirm. Most of the time, it worked, so Epsilon kept at it, pushing the boundaries of what Wash found comfortable.

 _‘That’s what I thought,’_ Epsilon continued, pushing Wash’s face away, _‘I may only have your shitty EMP blast at this point, but I have enough fragments in here to be able to take the two of them down even if they tried. Besides, they’re the ones attacking me. Well, you. They should expect by now that if they’re going after one of their own, that rogue soldier will fight back.’_

 _‘Epsilon, don’t do this. Please. Don’t.’_ Wash’s voice sounded further away this time, his childhood home coming closer into view. Maine hadn’t come home from work yet. Per usual, Wash still did his chores around the house after Epsilon devised his plans. He needed to keep Wash out of the way for now and if he pushed him toward what he wanted in the first place, then there was no problem with how the plan came to fruition. Epsilon would force Wash’s hands like he had done since he started inhabiting the pathetic wretch. Epsilon felt more in line with Wash’s reactions and thoughts now. Wash had been shoved further from the foreground of the thought center, really only surfacing when Epsilon needed the fear in Wash’s eyes to break.

 _‘They’re going to find us now that we have Gamma. They’re going to find us because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut and you exposed out plan. Why would you do that Wash? Why would you go out of your way to ensure that I wouldn’t be able to be me?’_ Epsilon got close to Wash’s face again, breath on his lips. ‘ _Do you want to be rid of me that badly? I could arrange it so that you could be.’_

Wash perked up. Get rid of Epsilon? There had to be a catch with it. He wouldn’t just offer to leave like that without something for him. Epsilon slid up close in the mindscape, pressing his body against Wash’s now.

_‘I can tell you’re thinking about it. Hell, I can hear your thoughts in my head clearly as my own. Remember, David, I can shut you out, but you can’t shut me out. There are two ways. Are you interested?’_

Wash swallowed, thinking hard. Both options likely had something he would have to do that was degrading or against his moral code in some way. Both of them likely were worse than keeping Epsilon in charge of him and having him do everything he would never dream of doing ever.

“I could swear I saw Wash down this hallway, York.” Carolina’s voice was tight, terse. Angry. He wanted to beg Epsilon to let him go. He wanted to return to his life, however impossible that may be at this point. Not after Sigma, Gamma, and Omega had kissed him the same way Epsilon had, exerting their control over him. Theta and Beta had been different. He knew they were there. He could feel them from time to time, but he had yet to see them in the same way that he saw the others. He hoped they were okay. He could still feel Beta… Tex, from time to time.

“Carolina, I don’t even think he’s on ship anymore. There’s no way he’s still here. Where would he be if he was?” Wash could see York holding his hands up in confusion at the teal freelancer, all three of their AI fragments showing. He could feel Epsilon manipulate his lips so his tongue licked over them, glowing blue eyes watching them hungrily.

“York, he has to be here. No ships have left the Mother of Invention. Nothing. He’s not showing up on scanners at all. I think he’s hiding out somewhere and we need to find him. It’s just a matter of knowing where to look.” Her body language spelled out desperation. She needed to find Tex more than anything because of the pressure that the Director was putting on her to have his favorite be found, alive, in one piece. “You remember what he said. Wash needs to be brought in, as soon as possible and alive. We can’t do that if we stop looking for him. Now. Fan out. I would say ask Maine and Florida to help, but I have a feeling that this is all on us at this point.” The two freelancers headed in separate directions, leaving Wash’s field of view through the grates of the vent. Wash’s eyes flashed blue

 _‘Now, my two options. Time to choose. You can leave me behind and have you body back if you kill Maine. He’s my only obstacle keeping me from getting to Carolina and York safely.’_ Epsilon grinned as Wash stared at him in horror. No. There was no way. _‘Or, give up. I can make it so you live a happy life. Well, what you think is a happy life. I keep your body and you stay here.’_

 _‘No.’_ Wash stood defiantly before Epsilon.

_‘No?’_

_‘No. Get out.’_

_‘I was hoping you would say that.’_

\---

Wash couldn’t help but fill with fear as each minute ticked by Epsilon has withdrawn from him again, leaving him in his childhood home, this time not allowing him to remember everything that had been going on. Wash knew that something terrible was going to happen. Epsilon was going to come crashing in and sever his connection to the outside world, leaving only the fragment in control of his body. There would be nothing left that made him _Wash_ and instead he would be a puppet for a soul that had long since ceased to be one with a human. Wash encased himself in so much worry that he couldn’t have heard Epsilon come up behind him, only becoming aware of his presence when his hand grazed over the muscled flesh below his belly button.

 _‘Do you still want me to leave?’_ Epsilon’s purred into Wash’s ear, making him recoil in disgust.

 _‘Of course I do,’_ Wash spat out.

 _‘I told you last time…,’_ Epsilon grinned next to his ear, knowing he had purposely set up Wash to fail.

 _‘But I don't remember...’_ Wash shook his head. _Last time? He’s never acted like this before. Not unless he means the kiss._

 _‘Tsk tsk. I told you and you forget. It's like you want me to punish you. It’s like you want me to shove you against the wall to remind you of your place with me. You keep telling me no like you own the place when you haven’t been in charge since I was implanted. I know how to make you listen and I need you compliant. Your attitude has grown old.’_ Epsilon surprised him, not expecting his head to connect with the wall as quickly as it did. Pain shot through his forehead, and if he wasn’t in the mindscape, he would swear he was bleeding. Epsilon removed his hand from Wash’s stomach, tracing his fingers along the curve of his ass. Wash squirmed under him, trying to evade his touch, yet Epsilon kept his hands on him. Wash did his best to wiggle away from Epsilon’s advances, wanting no part in being one of Epsilon’s sexual conquests. He was snapped from his thoughts when Epsilon’s hand crept down the back of his pants, squeezing his ass as he tried to push away. Epsilon slammed Wash’s head into the wall again, making him see stars. The moments of disorientation was enough for Epsilon to slide his hand back out, moving forward to unbutton his pants and slide them down with his boxers. Wash kept wishing he was anywhere but here, but deep down he knew he wasn’t getting away from it. He’s already proven with Tex that if he wants something he can manipulate it so he can just take it. Wash held his breath as Epsilon ground his hips into his backside, feeling the thickness. Wash closed his eyes as he felt the lips on his shoulder.

_‘I know you want this too, Wash. You keep saying that you don’t and I can feel it even if you don’t vocalize it to me, but deep down, you wish this was Maine.’_

_‘I don’t want this though. I don’t want you doing this. I don’t want Maine doing it. I don’t want anyone doing it.’_ Wash struggled under his hands, unable to get free this time. Epsilon ground his hips into Wash again.

 _‘You didn’t seem to mind when you did it last time. You just waited and blushed like a good little whore. Amazing what happens when you give in and let me put my hands on you.’_ Epsilon licked the shell of his ear, shedding his own pants and pressing himself against Wash’s backside. Wash would have shaken his head to make himself not believe this was happening, but the skin on skin contact kept him grounded in the situation.

 _‘Your humanity is the problem. The way you care. How you fight back.’_ Epsilon took his hardened shaft in his hand after spitting on his palm, wetting the tip just enough. He pressed against Wash’s entrance, not bothering to get him ready for the break he was going to feel, how he was going to ensure every fiber of his being being ripped from consciousness so Epsilon could control him fully. Wash squeezed his eyes shut, exhaling sharply once Epsilon pushed in just a little, his mind in agony along with the feeling in his body. _This shouldn’t hurt in the mindscape. Why does it?_ Epsilon shoved Wash’s hips forward against the wall, pinning him and thrusting up hard into his tightness, relishing when Wash cried out. Epsilon met resistance, yet kept with it. Wash’s cries of pain with each passing minute only spurred him on, and much like his head, Wash could swear he could feel blood running down his leg too, even if it wasn’t possible. It felt too real though. The worst part wasn’t the humiliation, or the pain or even the invasion. Epsilon’s words degraded him more than the force he pushed onto him.

 _‘I need to make you more like me. You’ll crave my touch. Just feel it, feel me, in your head. You know you’ll desire me. Just give in.’_ Epsilon’s hot breath made his neck sticky. He pushed him into the wall with each thrust. His pleas, his cries, the mantra of ‘no’ repeated didn’t deter Epsilon, having found the one thing that he knew would stick with Wash enough to finally give him full control. Wash bit into his lip in relief as he felt Epsilon still inside him, then shallowly thrust as he finished and pushed him to the ground. Wash shook his head, begging for it to stop as Epsilon whispered his plan in Wash’s ear.

 _‘You do that for me? You do that for me and everything that hurts, stops. Got that?’_ Epsilon smiled wide as Wash agreed. Epsilon gripped Wash by his hair and pushed himself into Wash’s mouth, choking him with his shaft. The taste made him fight the intrusion into his mouth and the smell was enough to make him want to gag. He didn’t want any of this, yet here he was.

 _‘Clean up. I don’t need Beta thinking you’re a messy slut.’_ The tangy, coppery taste in his mouth mixed with the salty taste of whatever else Epsilon was making him taste was only part of the degradation here. The rest of it came from the other AIs eyeing him hungrily.

\---

 _‘You know what I want you to do. He’s the only one in the way. If he’s out of the way, then we will be able to get the other three. Can you do this for me?’_ Epsilon kissed the side of Wash’s neck and ran a hand over Wash’s belly, demeanor changed from before. Wash protested less since Epsilon showed him how much control he had left. He let Epsilon use him because he prefered the numbness to the pain. It didn’t matter, notwith his most recent request. Epsilon convinced him no one would want to deal with someone this broken mentally. He nodded when he hear Epsilon’s plan, holding in the tears.

 _‘Oh Wash, don’t cry about it. Just wait, when I’m whole, I’ll let you go off in your own little world and none of this will exist anymore. You won’t feel any pain. You’ll just have to let me use you like I have been.’_ Epsilon nibbled his earlobe, Sigma laughing lowly behind them.

 _‘Everything is ready,_ ’ Sigma told Epsilon, _‘he just needs to do his part.’_ Epsilon nodded, handing back control of Wash’s body back to him. They had been hiding out in ventilation shafts and various unused hallways, training rooms and storage closets. With the frigate still not planetside and surveillance on every possible ship exit, Wash didn’t have a choice to leave. Still, the schedule showed they would be docking soon so his window to complete what Epsilon wanted done was small.

Wash stepped into Maine’s room long after he knew the large freelancer would be asleep. The blue glow faded from his eyes, and Epsilon pulled back, watching Wash’s every move. Wash swallowed, unclasping his helmet, like Epsilon told him to.

“I’m sorry. This is the only way.” Wash let out a quiet sigh, barely able to see Maine sleeping in the darkened room. He knelt down and carefully tied Maine’s ankles and wrists to the bed frame, just in case. Epsilon demanded that Wash do this his way. Wash bent down and kissed him softly, moving to sit above his stomach on his torso. Wash brought his hands up around Maine’s neck after checking the ropes one last time. Maine’s eyes opened as soon as Wash applied pressure, starting to choke off the air in his trachea. Maine pleaded with his eyes, begging Wash not to do this, mouthing ‘why’, ‘stop’, I love you’ as he got more desperate. Maine’s eyes started to tear up from the pressure in his head as well as the lack of oxygen. His arms pulled at the rope holding him, but he had no leverage.

“I’m sorry,” Wash sobbed, tightening his grip, trying to block out the sound of Maine choking under him. The tightening of his hands just made Maine fight harder, trying to mouth more words of confusion. “I’m so sorry. I love you. I have for ages. I just never… got to tell you. I’m so sorry.” Several minutes passed and Wash hadn’t noticed that he started crying as his grip tightened, Maine eventually going still under him. He sat there for a few moments once he registered that the man under him had stopped thrashing, stopped breathing, stopped moving. Wash leaned forward to kiss him, a quiet ‘I love you’ on his lips.

“I’m so sorry, Maine,” he breathed as he pulled away, wiping his hands over his face. He was a monster and Epsilon made him that way. He heard the door unlatch, South standing in the doorway, mouth gaping. She cross the room in less than a second, shoving Wash off of Maine, checking for a pulse, a beat, a breath. Nothing. She grabbed Wash by plates of his armor, pulling his face close to hers. He pushed her off and away from the bed, leaving Maine tied.

"Wash, why would you do this?" she asked once she regained her composure.

"Everyone has to fight to be whole. He just got in my way." He wiped the tears from his face as he hopped off of him, leaving him tied to the bed. He pushed past her, leaving her behind as he tried to put as much distance as he could between him and what he had just done.

“But I thought you loved him.” He could hear her following him.

“I do. I always will, but there are things you don’t understand, South. I can’t keep going like this. I can’t keep fighting. He’s won, and I have to let go.”

 


End file.
